GOOD LUCK SHOUT OUTS TO PMR CANDIDATES

2010 is the most satisfying year of teaching English for me. I have very sharp students (albeit still naughty). They laughed at my jokes, most importantly. I learnt from them more than they could have learnt from me. So, to all my students,

3PK4 - Shahrel, Yasyar, Azan Naim, Nazran, Lim Ching Keat, Azeem, Premkumar, Khairul Hafiz, Syafiq Che Ani, Zaquan, Fazlyn, Syafiq Razak, Shukri, Toh Kin Guan, Nandakumaran, Alif Arshad, Mustofa, Bazilah, Wan Nur Syiera, Norhayatti, Ganga Devi, Sivaparvatta, Gayathri, Mary Yeoh, Puteri, Nor Afiqah, Robiatul Adabiyah

3RK1 – Baizura, Shafiqah, Aishah, Nadiah, Zuriah, Filzah, Dhanusya, Ting Ying Shiu, Elza, Shahidah, Lim Ching Shan, Chin Wui San, Aina, Bissmi, Fiaz, Eric, Munirah, Edora, Syahirah, Maryleen, Lukman R, Ammar, Surren, Aliff, Amirul Fahmi, Christopher Lau, Chua Wei Yuan, Syafinaz, Farah, Lukman H, Iqraq (or iqrock), Khairul Ikhwan

3PK1- Fauzan, Sheikh, Irwan, Muhaimin, Osman, Hafizul, Azzraei, Faisal, Hafiz, Nur Fazira, Syuhada, Aqmal, Azila, Azlinda, Fazira K, Hidayah, Rasyidah, Nazri, Farhan, Azhar, Siti Rohani, Samahah, Rohmah, Puteri Nur Athirah, Najihah, Atiqah, Izzatul, Nabila, Izzati, Izzat, Hosiah, Asyiqin

3ES1- Firdaus, Syafiq, Diana Oktamalia, Mimi, Alif, Faris, Hidayah, Haziq Hariz, Amirul Syahir, Raja Aiman, Afiq Haziman, Nisa, Farah Marsya, Lily, Azim, Syazwan, Iskandar, Erni, Puteri, Atiqah, Fatin, Khairul Izzudin, Zaifarie, Raimy, Farhana, Diyana, Fikri, Jasmi, Shahidah, Iya Sofea, Muazzam, Amirul Ashraf

All the best! I pray for your success.

STARTING A NOVEL: WHAT DO YOU USE?

Ah. You’re finally ready to do it. To jump into that other world of your own making. Your head is full of ideas. Your research done and things that you don’t know won’t show up until you actually WRITE the story. You sit down in a corner, and suddenly you notice that you’re missing your writing effects. Worst, you haven’t bought them. And you’ve got nothing of your liking since the last time you wrote.

For myself, I gotta have these:

1. Gel pens (black)
Slim gel pens, up to 5 of them. I write longhand for my first draft and I have this cursive penwomanship which I think is rather romantic and fast. Black gel ink make my words bolder in my mind, signifying that I am sure of what I’m writing about.

2. Automatic pencils
0.5 slim automatic pencil, my preference is the Sharplet. The pencil is for writing scenes which are very difficult to write, where everything wants to barge in into my head. Kasih Nan Agung’s difficult scene is the shooting in the jungle. Warisnya Kalbu's is the final battle episode. Impuls/Roh’s is Ahmad Fahim’s face-off with Seamus Conway. There are numerous difficult scenes for Merdekakan Cinta Ratna and Bukan Legasi Lalang. Odisi Tanah Kencana’s difficult scene is when Guruh broke the king-monster curse. Pencil allows me to rewrite without subjecting me to the pain all over again. That is what I have to do if I use the gel pens.

3. A bound 100 pages half an A4 notebook
My choice is the Camel notebook. I prefer a black cover. No spiral binding for me because I hate having to take care of loose paper getting out of the spiral. I prefer very small lines. My stories are short, so one book is enough.

4. Reference books
My must-haves are the Kamus Dewan, English-Malay dictionary (because sentences form in English in my head), baby names book.

5. Research folder
All through the year, I should have done my research. I cut articles, collect photo of muses, print out stuff from the Internet. All that are kept in a slim folder, ready for my perusal.

6. The Playlist
Music is very important. Every story has its own soundtrack. I will stack my Nokia cellphone with choice songs. This year’s songs are Owl City’s Fireflies, Daughtry’s Tennessee Line, Hayley William & B.O.B’s Aiplanes and anything Lee Dewyze. Sometimes the songs have no connection to the story but the melody must be just right to make the scenes play in my mind’s eye.

So, have I got all these? Mostly, but them gel pens, I have to get fresh ones.

MENULIS: BILA NAK MULA?

"Senarai barang dapur, senarai apa-nak-di buat, senarai orang yang tak disukai, tulislah apa-apa pun, tapi bukan cerita aku yang best tu! Bukan sekarang. Aku tak sedia lagi."

Sudah jelas di dalam fikiran anda jalan cerita untuk karya anda yang terbaru. Anda tahu bagaimana ia bermula dan anda tahu bagaimana ia akan berakhir. Perincian di tengah-tengah hanya anda akan ketahui apabila anda mula menulis. Anda tahu itu kerana watak-watak yang telah pun anda beri nama akan bertindak sendiri, dia akan buat sesuatu yang anda tak jangka. Akhirnya, dia betul-betul buat keputusan yang akhirnya akan mengubah pengakhiran cerita anda. Sehingga anda terpaksa menukar namanya kerana nama asal yang anda beri tidak sesuai langsung dengan sikapnya yang tiba-tiba anda perhatikan.

Tapi anda dapati anda tak boleh menulis. Anda tahu apa yang terjadi dalam Bab 1, tapi untuk mengetuk papan kekunci atau memulakan tulisan tangan walaupun sepatah amat sukar. Kenapa? Pelbagai gangguan tiba-tiba wujud. Gangguan yang selama ini tiada ketika anda membuat kajian kini ada.

1. Buku-buku menarik tiba-tiba muncul.
Tiba-tiba, bila LALU di depan kedai buku sahaja, anda asyik ternampak buku yang bagus. Anda kena beli dan kena baca. Fiksyen yang tiada kaitan langsung dengan cerita yang anda bakal tulis. Semenjak Bookfest di KLCC lewat Ramadan dulu anda sudah membaca 3 buah novel dan suka semua cerita-cerita tersebut dan anda terus ketagihan.

2. Mula berfikir tentang kerja di tempat kerja tahun hadapan.
Ketika kerja-kerja di pejabat hampir siap dan fail 2010 hendak ditutup, anda sudah terfikir hendak buka fail 2011. Alasan, supaya ada banyak masa untuk menulis tahun depan. Dan anda tahu apa yang akan terjadi tahun depan. Sama saja.

3. Mencari-cari kerja rumah yang belum siap.
Entah mengapa balang-balang kuih raya cepat kosong dan minta di isi semula. Kenapa pinggan mangkuk kotor asyik bertimbun saja? Kain di ampaian sudah di angkat? Pelbagai kerja seolah-olah muncul secara tiba-tiba yang selama ini tidak pula anda ambil pusing.

4. Anda tidak mahu beri masa untuk diri sendiri.
Sentiasa berasa ada seseorang yang perlu ditelefon, perlu dijaga, perlu diambil perhatian ketika ini. Perasaan itu tidaklah sehebat dahulu. Namun semakin menjadi-jadi sekarang.

Realiti: Menulis itu sesuatu yang terlalu asyik.
Kalau dalam slanga bahasa Inggeris sekarang ia dipanggil “Writing is so sick”. Kalau perasaan itu boleh dibotolkan ia boleh jadi sesuatu yang haram untuk dipasarkan. Anda tahu setapak anda masuk ke dalam dunia cerita anda, anda akan berada di dalamnya dan takkan keluar sehingga anda selesai. Anda akan berjalan berminggu-minggu macam orang mabuk cinta. Anda terpaksa buat keputusan-keputusan yang dahsyat untuk watak-watak anda. Anda terpaksa kecewa dan menangis sebagai watak-watak anda. Dan prospek untuk hidup di dalam dunia tersebut terlalu menakutkan dan menyeronokkan pada waktu yang sama.

Anda sekarang dalam keadaan dahaga dan kepanasan yang amat sangat. Dan anda berada di tebing yang tinggi, di bawahnya air yang biru dan segar lagi sejuk. Anda mahu terjun. Beranikah?

FROZEN FIRE: GRAB YOUR READER

The moment I read the opening lines of Frozen Fire, I grabbed the book and paid for it, even it was after the financially taxing Aidilfitri and seven days away from payday. The opening lines are THAT good.

"I am dying," said the voice. Dusty clutched the phone.

Non-Bookish Man-of-the-House: Do you need that? Now?
Bookish Woman-of-the-House: Yes. Now.
Non-Bookish Man-of-the-House: Why?
Bookish Woman-of-the-House: Because I'm worth it.

And after that, the book just took me away from one rollercoaster ride after another. Cerebrally and emotionally. I am always intrigued by how the mind copes with loss of a loved one when there is no body to bury and how one reconciles that kind of missing and longing till the end of her days. This book rekindles that fear. There is this crazy chase scene that is real and grounded yet as dangerous as a Bourne movie chase.

And there's the suicidal boy. Who is as white as snow, hauntingly beautiful, possesses superhuman strengths and seemingly able to read minds. Ah, another damn vampire book, you say. But no! The origin of the suicidal boy is never reconciled and it was beautifully done as everyone involved in the story has seen and touched the boy but do not know what he really is. Which is the reason why the writer uses the third person point of view in a story which is perfect for a first person point of view, to signify that the main character is not making things up, but what she sees is seen by other people. The boy just disappeared from the story after his existence has served its purpose, which is to make Dusty (victim of loss) to know the truth and Angelica (victim of rape) to let go.

My guess about the boy: He is an alien, made of pure energy, who crashlanded on Earth and absorbs people's memory and all his actions are determined by the energy and thoughts of people he came in contact with. He has no purpose and his actions random. His gains existence through the meaning that people give to his form.

Absolutely worth breaking a fifty.

BEASTLY: READ IT BEFORE YOU SEE IT!

That is what the cover of the Harperteen’s novel Beastly says. I approached the novel with caution. Any novel with a black cover and a movie adaptation out soon is worth the suspicion.

Wait. Black cover, a flower, a movie out soon - oh no...

The novel turns out to be an amusing read. Reasons I loved the novel to bits:

1. The spot on references to the relevant literature texts.
As the novel deals with the evils of vanity, it made references to works like The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and The Phantom of the Opera. That clues me in to the importance of making teenage students connect their reading experience to their private lives, not so much about the beauty of the prose, though that can be led on to later once the students are hooked. There are references to sonnets as well!

2. The excellent use of roses-and-everything-about-growing-roses symbol.
The novel works beautifully with the symbol of roses. The single white rose corsage. Growing roses. Growing roses in a greenhouse to ensure an all year-round availability of roses. The lives and deaths of roses. And it connects with the theme of physical beauty excellently.

3. The first person narration.
It’s weird listening to the story in my head from the narration of a character I hate but that’s what the author put me through and it was addictive. The main character in the earlier part of the story is narcissistic, vain and a total douchebag. Then, things started to change...

And right at the climax until the end, and the ensuing final chapters, I hate the novel. Reasons being:

1. Magic without stakes/ risks/ consequences has no value.
The climax where everything turns out fine just won’t do. Especially when at the beginning of the story, there are so many rules of magic stated – the witch can’t turn the beast back into a human but the beast’s action is going to break the spell itself, there is going to be a kiss involved, there are some margin for bargains, the witch didn’t say that the beast will be invincible once the curse is lifted, bla bla. It was ambiguous but specific. Bottomline: The reader was led to believe that there is always a price to pay from the very beginning. But then at the cllmax, after such harrowing ordeal from the start, everything was erased, and wiped clean like nothing ever happened. Sure, it was happily ever after, but there is only too much magic that I can take.

2. The main character is still a douchebag at the end of the story.
Because the curse had became something just like a nightmare which one can wake up from, the main character remains the douchebag he is. It’s just like a bad dream you go through. In that nightmare you promised yourself “I’ll be a good person if I make it out of this alive” suddenly you wake up from it and you just continue being the careless person that you are. This is what the story is at the end. No stakes, no scars, nothing. The character Kyle is still vain, snobbish and worse, he is rude to his tutor, teacher and friend, Will Fratalli. As this is a story about character-building, such ending fails the purpose of the text.


I hope the film will do better.

THE HOLY KORAN: IMMORTAL IN THE MEMORY OF ITS PEOPLE

I just want to say this:

You can burn one
You can burn all
You can burn each and every single one
that has ever existed.

Wars will be waged
Countries burn for it
Copies will be bestsellers
Just for the sake of burning.

Burn it and it will be rewritten
And it will grow almost with no apparent effort
like tentacles of a creature
in your nightmare.

And even if you burn all the papers, parchments, fabrics
Destroy all connections to it
Eradicate all the symbols of its existence
It'll still be futile.

It is immortal
on the tongues
in the actions
in the minds
in the memory
of its people.

Sri Rahayu Mohd Yusop

MESRA ALAM SEBELUM BALIK KAMPUNG

Musim balik kampung tiba lagi. Sebelum meninggalkan rumah lakukan perkara-perkara mesra alam ini. Anda mungkin sudah tahu tapi saya sengaja mahu mengingatkan diri saya sendiri.

1. Pastikan semua barang-barang boleh busuk dalam peti ais anda masak sebelum balik kampung.

Malam terakhir sebelum anda balik kampung, habiskan daging dan ikan di dalam peti ais. Juga cincau, santan, cendol, susu yang telah dibuka, susu kultur, roti dan buah-buahan. Jika anda hendak tinggalkan sesuatu barang, tinggalkan yang tidak mudah rosak seperti telur dan sardin dan sayur sejuk beku yang boleh dimasak sebaik saja anda tiba di rumah minggu depan.

2. Pastikan semua kebocoran paip di rumah dibaiki.
Anda tidak mahu baldi yang menadah paip menitis menjadi penuh dan menjadi tempat pembiakan nyamuk aedes sewaktu ketiadaan anda sekeluarga.

3. Pastikan semua sampah telah dibuang.
Tinggalkan rumah tanpa sampah. Juga amalkan sikap pembuang sampah yang baik. Bungkus sampah dengan baik. Jika mahu membuang kaca dan benda-benda tajam, ambil langkah supaya ia tidak memudaratkan pekerja pengurusan sampah.

4. Pastikan semua suis elektrik telah dipadam dan cabut plag alatan.
Cabut plag cerek, TV, radio, pengecas telefon, komputer, mesin basuh, dispenser air. Plag yang masih di palamnya masih menggunakan elektrik dan ada risiko kerosakan alat jika berlaku ribut petir. Satu-satunya alat yang anda tidak perlu cabut ialah peti sejuk, melainkan andan berjaya menghabiskan semua benda di dalamnya! Juga jika anda mempunyai lampu yang anda ingin biarkan terpasang sebagai mengelakkan kejadian pecah rumah.

Kepada semua pembaca, semoga perjalanan anda selamat pergi dan pulang. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Mohon maaf zahir dan batin.

PETUA-PETUA MESRA ALAM KHAS UNTUK AIDILFITRI

Di tengah kemeriahan Aidilfitri di mana kita semua terdedah dengan segala bentuk pembaziran, saya ingin memberi petua-petua mesra alam sempena Adilfitri.
1. Jangan beli baju raya.
Sungguh. Jika anda guna baju ke tempat kerja, pakcik dan makcik anda takkan tahu. Saya juga tidak tahu budaya boria satu keluarga dimulakan oleh siapa.

2. Jangan beli kasut raya.
Tidak seperti orang Barat yang memakai kasut ke dalam rumah, kita akan meninggalkan kasut di luar rumah orang yang diziarahi. Tiada siapa tahu itu kasut tumit baldu Manolo Blahnik anda. Lebih teruk lagi, Manolo anda akan dipijak oleh puluhan budak kecil yang berlari keluar setelah mendapat duit raya. Pakai sandal murah pun sudah cukup elok sebenarnya.

3. Jangan beli baru, tapi bersihkan.
Ini untuk sarung kusyen, permaidani, langsir, pelbagai jenis ambal, perabut, dinding. Saya percaya kawan-kawan anda tidak secetek yang anda sangka untuk menilai anda berdasarkan dekor kediaman anda.

4. Jangan guna sampul duit raya.
Membazir saja. Jika hendak beri sepuluh ringgit, hulur sepuluh ringgit, tapi lipat kecil sikit supaya tidak nampak bermegah-megah. Sampul itu pun akan dibuang di tangga rumah. Sakit hati melihatnya.

5. Kongsi kereta apabila menziarah sanak-saudara.
Jika kereta kita besar – MPV, SUV, apa salahnya tawarkan pada sanak-saudara pergi menziarah bersama. Penuhkan kereta ikut kapasiti penumpang yang sepatutnya – jangan terlebih pula sehingga boleh menyebabkan kemalangan. Semoga dijauhkan Allah! Apabila kita membawa saudara-mara kita melatih diri kita supaya tidak risau bayi kakak kita muntah atas kulit lapik kusyen. Apa salahnya ada tompok muntah di atas kulit lapik kusyen. Duniawi, duniawi semata-mata. Kereta besar tapi tiada siapa mahu naik kerana kebengkengan anda adalah seperti rumah besar dan indah yang tidak mendatangkan keberkatan.

6. Kurangkan belanja, banyakkan sedekah.
Semua penjimatan yang kita lakukan akan membawa kepada kemampuan kita untuk lebih banyak bersedekah. Saya suka membezakan wang belanja dengan wang sedekah. Sedekah bukan dikira wang belanja. Kadangkala sedekah tidak perlu jauh-jauh – Pakistan, New Zealand. Tapi di kalangan ahli keluarga kita sendiri. Kita tahu ada di kalangan adik-beradik kita yang selepas raya belanja mereka akan jadi lebih ketat kerana rezeki mereka tidak sama dengan apa yang anda ada. Janganlah berkira sangat. Jangan dikira sebagai pinjaman. Semoga Allah SWT murahkan lagi rezeki kita, kurniakan kita kesihatan yang baik dan panjangkan usia kita.

Catatan: Penulis berkongsi petua untuk juga mengingatkan dirinya sendiri supaya tidak terjerumus ke lembah pembaziran dan kesombongan dengan rezeki yang dikurniakan Allah SWT.

AKAN KU RINDUI RAMADHAN YANG MESRA ALAM

Bulan Ramadhan al-Mubarak dengan segala keberkatan yang dikurniakan Allah SWT membawa saya lebih rapat dengan tangungjawab saya sebagai seorang penghuni alam yang baik. Ingin saya katakan bahawa Ramadhan ialah bulan yang mesra alam. Sebagai seorang yang mempunyai kesedaran mesra alam pada skala 6/10, saya mahukan senaraikan sifat-sifat Ramadhan yang mesra alam.


1. Bulan Ramadhan adalah bulan penjimatan.
Konsep mesra alam yang paling mudah dan sepatutnya di war-warkan adalah penjimatan. Konsep kitar semula dan guna semula dilakukan selepas konsep penjimatan tidak dapat dilakukan lagi. Manakala pembaziran adalah perbuatan syaitan. Orang yang membazir adalah sahabat syaitan. Ramadhan menuntut saya memasak sepenuhnya, sehingga air untuk berbuka juga saya buat sendiri – cincau, cendol, air nanas, semuanya dimasak sendiri. Jika saya tergoda untuk ke bazaar Ramadhan, saya akan merana kerana terpaksa memasak dari mula jam 4 pagi. Apabila memasak sendiri semuanya jimat. Dan lebih baik, tiada sampah plastik dari gerai.

2. Bulan Ramadhan bukan bulan untuk berlibur.
Pada bulan Ramadhan kita mengajar anak-anak untuk duduk di rumah, membaca buku, buat kerja sekolah, menonton TV cerita yang baik-baik, mengaji, melukis dan tidur. Tiada lagi desas-desus hendak pergi ke kolam mandi, taman, kedai mainan. Penggunaan petrol dapat dikurangkan. Kenderaan digunakan untuk ke tempat kerja, mengambil anak dan dua kali balik kampung.


3. Bulan Ramadhan adalah bulan untuk bersedekah.
Bersedekah adalah amalan yang mendatangkan ketenangan jiwa. Jiwa yang tenang tidak akan mengkehendakkan benda-benda duniawi seperti pakaian yang cantik, kasut dan beg tangan baru, set langsir baru, perabut baru. Apabila kita banyak memberi dengan ikhlas, kita akan dapati kita tidak perlukan benda-benda yang tiada makna itu semua. Tapi ingat, jika mahu bersedekah, sedekahkan benda-benda yang baik. Bukannya benda-benda yang kita pun tidak suka menggunakannya lagi. Jika kita tidak suka menggunakan sesuatu, apa pula perasaan orang yang menerimanya? Contohnya baju yang telah terpakai. Janganlah diberikan kepada orang. Buat kain buruk supaya rumahtangga tidak menggunakan kertas tisu. Sedekahkan jika anda membeli baju baru, tapi tiba-tiba tidak kena pada tubuh kerana anda telah menjadi semakin kurus kerana berpuasa. Ataupun anda telah belikan anak gadis anda tudung sebanyak 3 helai, dan anak gadis anda berkata 2 helai sudah cukup. Sedekahkanlah satu tudung manik Swarovski yang cantik itu. Percayalah, apabila kita boleh berpisah dengan nikmat kebendaan, kita tidak akan perlu lagi benda-benda untuk tatapan deria di dunia fana ini.

Catatan: Sri Rahayu Mohd Yusop adalah seorang pekerja institusi dan pengurus rumahtangga yang berjiwa mesra alam. Beliau menyokong usaha-usaha pengurusan hubungan manusia dan alam yang lebih baik dan lebih cekap.

DAYBREAKERS: WRITING POINTERS

The vampire genre is a tired genre. But the vampire film Daybreakers spins it a little differently. I am not going to comment on how good or bad the film is, but there are some useful writing pointers in it:


1. There is always a new angle to an old theme.

Vampires are done to death. We’ve had mafia vampires, romantic vampires, clannish vampires, monster vampires. Daybreakers introduced virus vampires. Vampirism in this text is not a magical advantage but a plague/ disease caused by a virus. (The Underworld series had that idea too, but didn’t follow up the idea on a grand scale) This allows the old theme a science fictionish angle eventhough it is not totally legit. And it is a complicated disease. One who gets infected, will experience body shut down but retains his capacity to think and act. The body having no further biological activities will not deteriorate, will not get other diseases, will not age. The body is dead but preserved and retains its soul. As bizarre as it is, the writer calls this ‘immortality’. The body will continue operating this way as long as it is fed with human blood. Deprivation will cause the body to turn into giant bats (I know it is lame.)

Look out, Michael Jackson!

2. Moral dilemmas always make a story more interesting.

Now, as the story has taken the turn mentioned above, the writer puts in moral dilemma to give the hilarious theme weight/ substance.

a. Once there are too many people turning into vampires, the rest of humanity which is not infected is left with two choices – turn voluntarily into vampires or to resist. If they turn, they’ll become the ‘immortal’ undead, dependant on human blood. If they resist, they’ll be fed to the growing vampire population.

b. Once a cure is found, the vampires face two options – to turn back into humans and gave up their ‘immortality’ or to remain vampires and live miserably.

There are a host of other dilemmas too, on the personal level:

a. Will you turn your own family to save them from being killed even if it is against their wish?

b. Is suicide an option if you cannot accept living as a vampire?

c. What happens when there are more vampires and there are less and less humans to feed on while blood substitute is not yet found?

"Just because I am using a microscope that doesn't mean I'm in a legit sci-fi"

3. When dealing with an overdone genre, find a point where you can reverse an aspect of the genre:

Many modern vampire films picture vampires as superior – they’re beautiful, do not age, have unnatural long lifespan that can only be cut short with violent accidents, stronger, have special abilities. The humans are the ones pining for the vampires or pining to be vampires.

In Daybreakers, the humans look more beautiful than the vampires (But then, I was looking at Ethan Hawke). The vampires are pasty-looking and have strange jaw structure (I was looking at Sam Neill, who isn't much of a looker these days).

What is this? A Harper's Bizarre photoshoot?

4. Writing with conviction will help strengthen even the most outlandish idea.

Daybreakers thinks of the situation on a large scale. No more little vampire covens and rogue vampire running around solo. Cars are built with daytime viewing apparatus. Subways are subwalks. Blood is the new sugar. The society comes alive only at night – schools, offices, all open at night only.

As a conclusion, Daybreakers writes about the dilemma of mortality versus immortality, while the truth is nothing can be immortal in fiction and become interesting. Death is too interesting to be put aside in fiction, or anywhere else.

THE ARTIST: PAST LIFE ILLUSTRATED (Final Part)

This is the final torture I'm going to put you through. No more 'artist' stuff after this.

I also tried to draw other than people. I tried buildings & structures, but never became good at it. Few pieces came as acceptable but that was the end of it.

This is Metropolis in 3B, 4B

This is ToxiCity in 0.7 Artline marker. I was very attracted to the idea of dystopia when I was in a beautiful 'Lord-of-the-Rings' place. Now, braving the traffic at 7 am, the idea is no longer romantic or courageous to live through.

And this is the electricity pole in front of my room, a sight from my window on 122, Frederick Street, Dunedin, Otago, New Zealand.

And I planned to do a modern graphic novel version of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. I got as far as the main character sketch and found out that I enjoyed writing the STORY more. Words are easier and faster. Anyway, with words people can correct you. But these things you draw – you’re stuck with it as it first came out. No one ever had his/ her painting edited.

This is the monster. There are days I think of myself as the monster.

Victor Frankenstein. There are days when I think I am Frankenstein. But that is only creatively speaking.

This is the painting I made for my first creative/ fiction writing mentor, Gaynor Corkery, entitled The Storyteller. It is acrylic on a pre-primed painting board. so, it was a easy. Before I gave it to her, I smartly photocopied the painting. It was huge. Imagine the photocopy boy's dismay when he was given the task!

And this is a promotional poster I made for my first batch of students’ stage play ‘Merdekakan Cinta Ratna’ back in 2002. Those were good days.

So, what happens now? Drawing, unlike writing is a skill that deteriorates very fast. I had to start from zero to gain my mediocre skills back in 1997. And that 1997 skill was trained since 1980! So I guess, drawing and painting are no longer practical to me. Last week, I drew a beaver on the whiteboard to illustrate the idiom ‘eager beaver’. My students said ‘oh!’ in unison, so I guess I still got the moves!

PELUKIS: HIDUP DALAM ILUSTRASI (Bahagian 2)

Setiap orang mempunyai pandangan masing-masing tentang hal seni tampak. Ada yang lebih meminati dan berkecimpung di dalam seni tampak bercorak abstrak dan ada yang memilih untuk menggambarkan alam sekitar dengan cara lebih realistik. Saya berada di dalam kelompok kedua kerana saya suka meniru alam sekitar. Oleh itu, saya suka melukis potret. Kemahiran melukis potret adalah kemahiran paling komersil di dalam seni tampak kerana sebaik sahaja anda menunjukkan potret yang agak-agak baik kepada kawan, mereka pasti akan mahu membayar anda untuk lukisan potret ahli keluarga dan yang tersayang. Tak percaya, cubalah sendiri (dengan berbekalkan potret yang agak elok dipandang mata).

Lukisan potret saya cuma suam-suam kuku dan saya belum teruji kerana saya asyik melukis wajah-wajah orang yang ‘cantik’. Lukisan potret menghadapi ujian paling getir apabila melukis wajah tua etnik Melayu yang retak seribu. Saya belum cuba.

 Ini adalah potret yang saya lukis ketika sedang hangat menulis ‘Bukan Legasi Lalang’. Entah kenapa dengan penuh berilusinya saya membayangkan Hang Jebat seiras dengan Keanu Reeves! Sungguh tak patriotik tapi wajah inilah yang menggerakkan BLL ketika itu. Umur saya ketika itu 22 tahun. As single as an amoeba.

Perhatikan apabila kita menggunakan pensil warna (LUNA pilihan saya - tabiat lama sudah nak dibuang) sesuatu warna bukanlah solo tetapi campuran banyak warna. Kuning bukan kuning, tetapi banyak-banyak warna yang kelihatan kekuningan. Banyak campuran warna diperlukan untuk mendapat tona warna kulit yang digambarkan ‘putih kuning’. Dikatakan di dalam Hikayat Hang Tuah yang Hang Jebat warna kulitnya ‘putih kuning’. Dua perkataan ini, membakar dalam imaginasi kegadisan saya (the female gaze).

Saya cuba keluar dari zon selesa dengan melukis wajah kanak-kanak Kurt Cobain dengan warna air. Kurang kemas kerana saya cuba menangkap aura ‘grunge’ dan warna keputihan dan kekuningan untuk menangkap aura ‘innocence’ di dalam potret ini.

Saya juga suka meniru. Potret Edward Scissorhands ini ditiru dari foto pegun tapi saya tukar latarnya menjadi biru-hijau (turqoise) supaya nampak kontra dan tidak terlalu suram.

Ada juga potret yang dihasilkan kerana imaginasi semata-mata. Sesudah membaca ‘Catcher in the Rye’ saya terus melukis potret Holden Caulfield.

Ada lagi. Tunggu.

THE ARTIST: PAST LIFE ILLUSTRATED

I was going through a serious pre-Aidilfitri spring cleaning and found that stuff I had when I was 20- 24 years old are deteriorating fast – yellow, dry and brittle paper. Even the arcrylic is chipping off. The pastel crayon is becoming dust thin. So, knowing that the Internet is probably the most stable place for keeping memories – until the world runs out of order and all of us are just fighting for food, water and air, I’ve decided to ‘immortalize’ my mortal stuff here.


I was a bit of an artist. I mastered every medium except oil for the simple fact that it is costly and very difficult to handle. I love arcrylic the most because I can just layer and layer the canvas, or the cardboard or the TV box until I receive the intended product.

I went through this ‘gothic’ art period WAY before they parade the style in Berjaya Times Square. But I wasn’t a goth girl. It’s just that black is such a moody colour and it is timeless too. Black became the base for many of my artwork.

This trio is called ‘Despair Death Irony’ in oil pastel. Cheap. Like NZ dollar 2.30 per box. Remember that I had to work in a cherry farm for the only summer I’ve got in New Zealand while others flew home. Go figure. I wish I was cheerful when I was 22. But I wasn’t.

I had no idea why on earth did I drew this. But Allah SWT has a plan for me. I had no title for it then. But I do now. It’s called ‘Motherhood’ in 4B, 5B & 6B.

 I took Mythology 101 and a series of artwork came about based on Greek Mythology. I didn’t really like Greek mythology but I just play along so I could produce a decent folio for the lecturer who was impressed that I could draw and colour well. The others in the course were too drunk to do anything. Think about it, I was the only one sober, by virtue of my birth.

 

This is my rendition of Hades – in 2B pencil.

This is entitled ‘Walking Through the Gates of the Underworld’. Did not know what was going through my mind. In colour pencil & oil pastel.

I have more.

Goodreads & lain-lain: Pengurusan (Hidup di Internet) Asas

Alhamdulliah,setelah menerima emel bertalu-talu dari Najibah, Jualiana Es, pengarang Nisah Haron, Aina Dayana, saya telah mendaftar masuk ke dalam GOODREADS. Bukannya kesombongan atau ketidakeprihatinan yang membuatkan saya lewat menyertai laman ini yang telah pun memuatnaikkan gambar kulit buku dan komentari buku yang begitu banyak (pada pandangan saya itu sudah cukup banyak), tetapi ialah ketidakcukupan waktu dan kejahilan menggunakan Internet. Jadi ia menjadikan proses menyertai sesuatu laman itu tersekat-sekat. Kadang-kadang jika subjek terlalu lama untuk dimuatnaik dan sesuatu yang lebih penting mendatang, saya akan tinggalkan begitu saja. Dan apabila saya kembali ke komputer beberapa hari kemudian, saya akan memulakan proses yang telah ditinggalkan dari mula.

Tidak semua penulis itu mahir selok-belok di Internet walaupun penulis itu rapat dengan komputer/ internet. Saya selalu menganggap Internet itu bagai perpustakaan yang besar. Saya datang dan saya baca. Jika saya mahu anggap Internet seperti suatu tempat sosial atau tempat berkawan, cara saya membawa diri juga perlu berubah.Saya akan jadi mesra dan terbuka. Melayari wikipedia itu mudah, tapi bila mula bersembang, saya agak kekok (kerana itu tiada akaun facebook).

Seorang kawan dunia fizikal yang bernama Siti Yusriza Abdullah berasal dari Alor Setar ("You can take a woman out of Otago, but you cannot take Otago out of the woman") pernah merungut, "Anda telah tulis 6 buku cerita, tapi kenapa nak emel pun terlalu susah?" Saya menjawab dalam hati: 6 buku cerita ditulis dengan tangan di dalam 2 buah diari ketika menghadiri mesyuarat-mesyuarat dan ceramah yang biasanya off-tangent, dan juga ketika menunggu ikan yang digoreng jadi rangup dalam minyak panas, sebab itu ialah lebih mudah, berbanding dengan menulis di hadapan komputer dengan Internet terpasang dengan hanya beberapa minit terluang. Dan apabila 2 diari yang telah penuh ditulis ini saya taipkan ke dalam komputer dalam microsoft word, ia sebenarnya suatu proses yang pantas.

(Jam 6.55 pagi, Ahad, selepas sahur & Subuh, ketika SEMUA ORANG sedang tidur)

TIME FLIES EVEN WHEN YOU’RE NOT HAVING FUN

There’s a hot gossip in the workplace these days. A few colleagues are saying that the size of the circumference of Earth’s rotation in its orbit has reduced and that makes us, Earth-dwellers, actually having less than 24 hours. In a jest, I said that the scientists should start revising the number of hours we experience in a day and a night.


But really, being so close to the way how the sun moves (that determines our time for prayers) I don’t think we are having less time than what we in the past. It is only our perception of time have made us think we have less time.

The element of distraction is the worst culprit. I should have an hour of writing my story but I wrote this entry. Previously, I should had time talking with the boys but I watched a B grade martial art film with them instead, so they would stop talking. The element of distance being travelled is another. During weekdays, there are trips and driving to and fro to be made over 50 kilometres in a day.

Most importantly, the kind of preoccupation you have over making sure that things are done ON TIME. And being in school, the calendar is like a mission chart.

August
• Patriotism Month. Being a resident writer I must write a 15 minute drama for the kids to act in. I must warn them about them about the faulty public announcement system.

• Ramadhan – school is dismissed half an hour earlier. Fish-hunting trip. No more instant dinner.

• The PMR trial – one more week. It’s do or die, for both students and teachers.

September

• Trial paper grading – it all come down to this.

• Aidilfitri – only a few things grieve me more than a celebration before a public exam.

• Two weeks of time after the holidays before the real PMR

October

• PMR - if it's ever to be abolished, I shall remain, but think of all the tuition centres being closed down, and the reference book publishing industry will suffer. Life as we know it will change. No more tuition fees, more storybook time - Hooray!

• Post-PMR programmes – which are actually a lot harder to organize than lessons.

• Life goes on until –

See, just ticking off the calender in breakneck speed makes me think that time is running faster than it ever has. If I get to be 75, will the clock slows down? Or I’ll be just like what I am now – hurtling down the cliff of time.